My breakdown at Comic Con

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As I’ve mentioned time and time again on this blog, I have anger management issues.  One of the things that really sucks for me is that I’m a fairly intelligent and reasonable guy, so often times when I’m having a meltdown, I’m completely aware of how silly and trivial the situation is, yet I’m still angry about it anyway.

For example, in 2011 I got to knock off a major bucket list item in my life and go to the San Diego Comic Con.  Sure there are plenty of other cons out there, but San Diego is the Mother Ship, the Kentucky Derby, the Indian shooting the star on the Tootsie-Pop wrapper, the E-Ticket ride, it’s when Martini got the boat ride in Cuckoo’s nest, and the wardrobe that led to Narnia.

Needless to say I was a little excited about the whole thing.

So excited in fact, that while I was preparing for the trip, I completely forgot to pack my anger management medicine.  However, it’s Comic Con.  What’s the worst that could happen?

After flying to San Diego, we rented cars for our group and drove towards the hotel.  One of the girls in our group insisted on helping me navigate which basically meant that she held the GPS in her lap, and whenever the GPS would say things like “in 200 yards, turn right onto Interstate 1”, she would immediate follow up be telling me, “So what you’re going to want to do is turn right onto Interstate 1 in about 200 yards.”  Her heart was in the right place though.

We get to the Hotel, and naturally I can’t sleep because I’m so excited.  The next morning, nobody is moving fast enough for me, and I’m painfully aware of each passing minute we could be spending on the convention room floor, but are not because so and so wants to have a second cup of coffee. Some people have no priorities.

The San Diego Comic Con happens in September, and since I was thinking there could be a really good chance this would be a once in a lifetime event, I planned to do all my Christmas shopping there.  Everyone I knew would get something from Comic Con.  My first go to present was T-shirts, because who doesn’t love a T-shirt, and they would be easy to travel with.  Immediately upon getting into the convention, my daughter Rowan and I get in the T-shirt line that’s about as long as the Kazakhstan border and we wait…forever.  When we get somewhat close to the end of the line, it suddenly just breaks apart as a man with a megaphone announces they are sold out of T-shirts.  It’s Thursday, the convention has been open for roughly five hours, there are still three days left of the convention, and they are sold out already.

Ok.  That sucks.  That is horrible planning on the conventions part, but it’s alright because I have an even cooler backup plan.

Every year the San Diego Con has these really cool exclusives that can only be bought at the Convention.  That year it was a really cool Professor Zoom (the evil Flash) action figure that was limited to only 4,000 pieces.  Since The Flash is my favorite super hero, and I’m a huge action figure junkie, this figure would be my Holy Grail.  If things went my way I, I would buy around 30 of them and give them as gifts, whether people could appreciate the awesomeness or not.

I drag Rowan with me, and we soon find the booth where they’re selling the figures.  It was pure heaven.  There were easily 1,000 Zoom figures on display, with boxes of them stuffed under the tables.  I calmly (let me say that again…calmly), walk up to the booth and say, “Hello good sir. I would like to purchase some of your exquisite merchandise if it’s not too much of an inconvenience,” or something equally polite and civilized, to which I’m informed that I can’t simple buy the action figures, but have to enter a contest for the chance to purchase 2 at the maximum.  He points to a line roughly the size of the Chilean coastline where I would have to wait for the remote possibility of buying 2 figures.

This is where Rowan claims I snapped.  Keep in mind all of this is happening while I’m wearing a full body, spandex Green Lantern suit.

I don’t remember much of the incident, but I do remember seriously contemplating just throwing down a bunch of money at the guy, grabbing as many figures as I could possibly carry, and making a run for it.  I vaguely remember Rowan tugging on my arm, telling me that people were staring at us, and  noticing more than one security guard talking into their radios as they approached us.

I ended up doing most of my Christmas shopping on Amazon that year.

Later that night, back at the hotel, Rowan is telling the members of our group about my fight with security, and in a moment of clarity, I decide that I should possibly take an additional pill, because I’m not really dealing with things all that well.  That’s when I first realized I had been off my meds for the past three days.

If you take medication, always make sure it’s the first thing you pack.

As a footnote to this story, the next year I went to a Comic Con in Long Beach.  I was very excited, and had a brand new Professor Zoom costume that I had made myself.  As we walked into the convention, the very first booth we see are all the San Diego Professor Zoom exclusive figures that they didn’t sell because no one wanted to go through the craziness required to buy one.  The girl at the booth sees me in my Professor Zoom costume and figures she will make an easy sale.

I don’t remember much of the incident, but…

As an additional side note, my dear friend Cami managed to somehow score me a Zoom figure so we’re all safe now

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